Experiment:

At the end of everyday, until November 1st 2013, I will keep a daily journal.

It must write my journal for at least 20 minutes. There is no minimum requirement in amount written, just that I do nothing else for 20 minutes.

This whole journal will be published (will anyone read it?) at the end of the experiment. Notable passages will be published throughout the experiment as I encounter them.

Hypothesis:

I don’t know much what will happen. I expect I will become much more self aware of my action during the day, and more aware of my successes and failures (and how to act to replicate/avoid them) today. I expect I will become a lot more congruent and aware with my life philosophy, and it shall become more parallel to my lifespeki.

I think my writing will improve as I go. Regular writing tends to do this.

I believe my writing will tend mostly towards entrepreneurship, life goals, & philosophy. The first because that is most of my life at the moment, and the second and third because that is who I am. There will also be love, loneliness, fear (stemming, I expect, mostly from disappointing Michael and the consequences therein), friends, travel lust, and the mundane. There will almost definitely be frustration (stemming from that fear and my own inadequacies).

In the end, I expect the effects to be high-level and widespread, and also not overly noticeable in day to day life or externally (though perhaps I may be wrong in this last bit).

Results:

  • Always try and have as many things running independantly of you as possible. If something is waiting on you to do a brief touch before rolling along without you, do it first.
  • Assuming that you’re not good at something ensures this. Assume you are good at it, and getting better.
  • Very few of even the impressive people in the world are clear on life. They are often not in their ideal circumstances, confused as to who they want to be, and seemly unclear on goals.
  • In the same vein, what is ideal and a good goal/philosophy/circumstance varies widely between people. If you can understand their Lifspeki, you can understand what they want and why they do what they do.
  • Don’t just jump into an opportunity because you want to work with the people. Want to work on the project too. If you don’t, another will soon present itself.
  • I can make others feel positive emotions about me by delving with them into their positive experiences and passions. And I enjoy talking about these things.
  • The truth will out. Always. Lying to yourself or to others will not be effective in anything but the very short term, as reality cannot be denied or hidden. In this case, telling myself and others that I was pushing hard and creating a lot when I wasn’t was simply not true.
  • Your body tells you when you’re doing something wrong. You know. There’s signals. Pick up on them.
  • To catch a green-water wave, you have to have a short and powerful burst of speed right as the building lump hits you. Just pre-crest. Then, as it crests, turn so your back is to the barrel and your face to the wave and surf.
  • Spicy food is good for killing germs and sickness.

  1. Always do the best thing you can do at the moment. If it’s a choice between hanging out with nobody and hanging out with average people, hang out. If it’s a choice between making $0 an hour and making $10, make $10 (assuming your $0 time isn’t invested time). Trade up to the best you can get, and keep on improving it all. And don’t reject the best you’ve got because it’s not as good as you want yet.
  2. There’s always something to enjoy and learn from anyone. Ask them what it’s like growing up where they are, what they’re into. See if you can uncover their passions in a roundabout way.
  3. Always always talk to friends when feeling shitty or board or dispassionate. They’ll get you back up. Especially high quality family like Stepan.
  4. Know how I look back at my highschool days and laugh that I was stressing out about things that didn’t matter? The same thing is happening now. A lot of the stuff that feels stressful or worth worrying about simply isn’t when you take perspective on it. The solution: don’t stress out about most things, and make choices that you will look back on and approve of in the future.
  5. Listening to smart and philosophical people is fun. Much more fun than talking and trying to show off how smart and philosophical you are. Bounce an idea back and forth, and try to keep it in their court at for 60% of the time. Listen, absorbe, build upon, and pass back.
  6. There are 3 levels of life philosophy in respect to it’s social malleability. The outer ring is very malleable, and can easily avoided or modified to match current company. Like my belief in the net negative effect of religion; I won’t bring it up in the presence of religious people and, if the situation calls for it, I’ll observe a religious ritual or argument. The middle ring is the philosophies that can remain unmentioned, and have boundaries where that will change; If someone I am with is homophobic, I’ll not get into an argument with them or stop enjoying them, but I will step in if they begin to unleash this upon someone in a hurtfull way. The inner, core, ring is your lifspeki. The life philosophy that centers who you are as a person and will not be hidden or changed; My constant pursuit of self improvement, learning, and growing at abnormal levels (even in the face of odd and uncomfortable situations like refusing to listen to someone complaining when they are clear on having no desire to change the situation) will never be hidden and will gladly be displayed and discussed. People who oppose core beliefs must simply be excluded or minimized in one’s life.

Why can't you have normal existential angst like all the other boys?

I’m something called a Nihilist Hedonist. We’ve spent a lot of time not existing, you and I, and after a very fast 100 years or so (more if someone figures out immortality?), we’ll be nothing again. Or maybe we’ll be something…but it could be nothing.

In the meantime, though, we get to do things like see green & sip coconuts & stub toes & fall recklessly in love & mess up plans & check out that cutie’s butt & cook food & collect new scars from new adventures.

For a little while, we get to feel and make and enjoy. I say, hakuna matata. Drop the fears and go feel something (that cutie’s butt perhaps?). Make your life a story worth reading.

3/7, 5/7, 3/7

Hypothesis:

I do not trust myself, because I consistently make and break weak promises to myself. This is created an all encompassing gap in my confidence and my perception of reality. It leads to me consistently failing at turning my dreams into reality, and knowing that they were possible but that I did not do what I could have done to make them real.
I choose short term enjoyment over long term enjoyment far too often and without deeply wanting to. I am controlled by my impulses and emotions when I want to be driven my deep desires and dreams.

I hypothesize that, if I choose my promises consciously, and always fulfill them, I will have a much higher self confidence, a record that I am unwilling to breach, a more enjoyable and calm and powerful perception of reality, and I will accomplish a lot more stuff that I deeply desire to do.

Experiment:

For the next 21 days (August 11 – August 31), I shall make a daily promise to myself in the morning. I will publish this promise here on this blog.
Then I will fulfill that promise, or fail myself.
Finally, at the end of the day, I will record my results, and how I feel.

At the end of the month, we’ll see what has happened.

Results: 

Overall, this experiment was a success.

It definitely made me push harder on days when I would have just hit the hey. It turned potentially horrible weeks into acceptable weeks, and acceptable weeks into great weeks.

I didn’t gain all that much self trust, but that’s because I only kept my self promises 52% of the time…not exactly a trustworthy ratio.

In the end, I’m keeping this as pat of my daily rital. Every morning, I choose one small task from my daily plans and make that my promise. No matter what, I must get that thing done.

I’ve got September’s calender up on my wall (with day 1 already crossed off).

Paired with things like my daily 1-5 ratings, my weekly win percentages, and my weekly monetary reward, I’m certainly feeling more productive.

However, the graphs tell a different story, showing that I seem to be maintaining the same level of awesomeness which fluctuates it’s peaks an valleys in remarkably consistent 2 week cycles. The peaks are slowly getting higher and the valleys getting low, so things are somewhat looking good.

I’ll keep implementing new experiments like this every month. Next one going live this week (after an intense work session for the next few days that I’m postponing my planning for)