This is an excerpt from the Words of Focus project.
I have found myself in an ease-of-flow state I have rarely found before.
See, the people I’m working with make me feel safe. I know that, as long as I am dedicated and dive in, they will help me and take care of me. I know that what I’m building here has a clear link to two of my larger life goals: automated income & The Utopia Experiment. I know that I am capable of doing shockingly good work in shockingly tight timeframes. I know that I have become a master of communcation, at least on a cerebral and excitement-alighting level. I know that I am capable of a lot more than I can catagorize easily… I have become hard to define, my job title is the equivalent of general in an army. I am something of a renaissance man, at the very lower bounds of where one might be able to be called that.
And I am inspired. I can see the link of my current situation to both my short-term goal and my huge life goals that are 5 or more years off (yes, I realize that 5 years is not a life…but making serious plans for more than 5 years is ludicrous). And it brings all of them much closer than I expected them to be. My 23 year old goals can be acheived when I’m 21.5. My goals that I had expected to be looking at in my mid-30s could be on the horizon for when I’m 25. Woah.
Most of this is Project Bamboo. I want Mella’s Grocery, a side hustle almost, to be fully grown and automated within 12 months. I should be able to do remote work on it in 6 months, with a few trips to Bali to concentrate on on-the-groud stuff.
And RadNomad? Well, that’s a life project, and as long as I keep it alive (it doesn’t yet have to thrive), I’m content.
The result of all this? Of me finally feeling like I’m on pretty secure groud. Of me seeing my goals much closer than I’ve ever expected them to be. Of me working on something that legitimately lights me on fire.
The result is that I am able to find flow with an ease and regularity that I was last able to achieve during my Marijuana Productivity Experiment.
For the first time in my life, I can see myself as on a path that leads directly to true awesomeness. To the ability to earn friends of the caliber of Ben Yu and Tynan and Colin Wright.
Not so surprisingly, this is the result of a mindset that is new to me. For the first time in my life, I am actually conscious of the voice in my head that attempts to motivate me via admonition and high expectations and unfavorable comparison against others and my ideal self. Jernej was the one who actually pointed out that I had this mindset (until we delved in a bit and he noticed it, I had not even know it was the case. Like if you’re running your computer on Windows, totally unaware that other operating systems like Linux and Chome and iOS exist).
I have also discovered (with the help, again, of Jernej) that I now justify my not being ideal with the excuse that I am not yet idea. It is circular logic, and it also holds true. However, it holds true however I am to use it in this case.
Which means that I can say that I am already my ideal self, because that is who I choose to be.
Yeah, it seems so obvious. Or, perhaps, nonsensical. What it is is the answer to an enigma of life. One that every human is presented with, and most never even recognize as demanding an answer.