Original Experiment Document Here: NoFap Experiment II – 90 Days, Eddy & Kush

——

So, it’s been 95 days since I masturbated, looked at porn for pleasure, or ejaculated/orgasmed via any means that don’t involve another person.

The fact that that’s 95 days and not the originally intended 90, because Asha (my wife) is headed to Japan to see her boyfriend for a few days and I didn’t really have much incentive to masturbate when I’ve got a girl like her around, is telling. I didn’t go through anywhere near the kind of temptations and sexual deprivation that most other NoFappers have to endure without at least one partner.

Asha and my relationship is so sexual that, for the first 6 months or so, I didn’t fap at all simply because I was having so much sex that fapping was never appealing. Well that and because she had an unhealthy dislike of me masturbating. Our sexual life wasn’t what it used to be for most of this experiment thanks to some stresses we’ve been going through, but we still averaged at least once every few days.

Another thing worth noting is that I went on a pretty intense porn binge right before I started the experiment, while I was alone in Canada. I did a LOT (I mean a LOT) of masturbating and smoking weed for a week or so before starting. I didn’t know I was going to try NoFap then, so this wasn’t motivated by knowing I’d be going without.

So, what are the results of 95 days of NoFap  w/ partners?

How NoFap Is Supposed To Affect You

There’s a pretty huge range of effects people report via NoFap. The most common are:

  • You will be more attractive to girls. They’ll check you out more, you’ll be more skillful at flirting, you’ll get laid more.
  • You’ll feel more motivated and more awesome. Being the man you wish you were is much more easy.
  • You’ll experience flatlines, which are periods of depression and/or low libido
  • On the flip side, if you’re dealing with any form of depression or general shitty feelings, this will help alleviate that.
  • You’ll be more energetic.
  • If you work out, you’ll see a faster rate of growth.

A few examples of these claims:

Effects that 95 days of NoFap had on me

In short, not much in terms of long-term effects. But a definitely appreciation for the short-term effects of masturbation and how best to use it.

More motivation and skill with women?

Especially in periods where I wasn’t with Asha, my mounting horniness would drive me to go a bit crazy with girls. I’d be swiping on Tinder like crazy, approaching girls on the street the few times I was on the street, and being pretty damn clever and funny and flirty.

I only went on a few dates, and had sex with only one other girl, mainly because when Asha was back within a few days my motivation to get other women went down heavily.

Eventually I wound up going on a date with a cool girl. She was clearly interested in me, she was doing some pretty cool stuff with her life (a pretty well developed philosophy of hard agnosticism, a lot of well thought out viewpoints, cute face and body, learning biochemistry to develop medical substances)… and I just wasn’t interested. So I stopped dating. Will resume later when my desire is back up.

But, when I am talking to women, this feeling and tone of desperation and almost kicked-dog-like desire for approval is completely gone. I’m much more detached from whether or not they’re into me, and more interested in entertaining myself and learning about who they are. I wonder if that’s a result of NoFap and if it’s something that will stay even after I stop.

Post-fap note: Yup, it’s stayed. Which means that I can’t definitively attribute this improvement to NoFap, though I can’t rule it out either.

Flatlines?

I think, though I can’t be sure, that I went through a few periods of emotional lows that were at least partially influenced by NoFap.

I definitely experienced libido swings. There were periods where I was so horny I couldn’t work or sleep or do anything but flirt. And there were multi-week periods where my libido was just lower than I can ever remember it. Quite a lot of time was spent in the latter, which I’m hoping that fapping will put an end to as I enjoy life more when I’m hornier.

I’d expected my sex drive to go up drastically. Interesting to see that, to a large degree, the opposite happened.

Besides those two…

There were no noticeable effects on my life from NoFap. Nothing. I wasn’t more motivated, more active, more confident, more attractive to women.

There were times I was so horny I couldn’t work or sleep and just found myself flirting endlessly on Tinder and OkCupid. So my earlier prediction about being horny to the point of distraction was correct.

Simply put, the effects of not masturbaiting while having regular access to sex was, for me at least, negligible.

I’m actually excited to masturbate again. I think it’s going to be really enjoyable.

Post-Fap Notes

Well, the first two days of being able to masturbate knocked me on my ass. I spent nearly two whole days jacking off and watching TV and generally wasting time.

One thing is for sure here: I did not have a good handle on my ability to control my urges with this drug. I lost control.

This has happened before, under similar circumstances. I start the day, decide to give into the urge, and wind up in a cycle of stagnation.

To counter this, I set a new law in my life: I cannot masturbate until after I’ve reviewed my day. Period. It’s been ~9 days since then, and I haven’t screwed up (or masturbated more than a couple times, I think).

After recovering from those two days, however, I haven’t seen any change in myself. My interest in women is still minimal, my libido has risen a bit but not a huge amount, I’m not more or less depressed or happy or motivated or active or anything.

Conclusion

NoFap gave me an appreciation for the power of masturbation, and my ability to resist doing it when it would have a negative impact on my life.

While there aren’t any long-term effects of masturbating or not that I noticed, the short term effects of ejaculation, namely fatigue and tiredness, are definitely there.

Just as with any drug (I’d classify this, as well as video games, as drugs in that they artificially stimulate your dopamine levels and can cause addiction) masturbation can be harmful if used wrongly and should be done mindfully. I have succumbed to indulging in it to a point that it’s a net negative to my overall enjoyment & a source of procrastination and stagnation, and NoFap has shown me that I can decide to not do it, and that when I do so my energy stays up and my drive to pursue women skyrockets.

So, from here on out, I will only masturbate when I don’t plan to be doing productive stuff afterwards (which amounts to my law of never doing it before I review my day), and I’ll refrain from it when my goal is to meet women. That pent up sexual energy is excellent fuel for flirting. So I’ll utilize it for that instead of letting it cause me to waste my energy on porn.

When I do fap, I’ll be trying to really appreciate it alike to how I almost always appreciate sex, instead of just using it to quickly satisfy an urge.

Original Experiment Document Here: NoFap Experiment II – 90 Days, Eddy & Kush

——

I’ve come to the hypothesis that, if one has frequent and easy access to sex, there are no noticeable benefits to NoFap.

For 33 days I haven’t looked at porn or masturbaited. The few times where I don’t have access to sex for a few days (for example, when Asha was out on a multi-day date & I wasn’t dating Ayesha because I wanted to work) the only thing I’ve noticed is that I’m extremely horny. Definitely more horny than normal. If anything, the only effect of this is that it distracts me from work and makes me antsy.

When I do stumble across an attractive girl in a movie or online or in reality, I feel horny and attracted just as I did before I started NoFap. No difference.

I’ve gone through a multi-week period where my libido was almost at absolute 0. It’s possible that NoFap attributed to that happening, though it seems like the opposite would be the case. But I think it’s more likely that that happened because I was in a very stressful and dull period of my life. Right now it’s back, but not in full force.

Likewise, my motivation to work has gone from a total crash where I can hardly do anything productive, to days on end where I’m able to just work and work and work. Which is consistent with what it was before NoFap.

I asked /r/NoFap about this here. Feedback:

  • I may have to wait 90 or even 120 days before I see the effects
  • I have saved some time from not looking at porn, which is true. Not worth it though, as I would usually have rather spent that time watching porn.

Original Experiment Document Here: NoFap Experiment II – 90 Days, Eddy & Kush

——

There have been very few moments where I was extremely horny & couldn’t either wait a bit or just get down with it since I came back to Singapore.

Asha (and, for one excellent date night, Ayesha) have been taking good care of me.

BUT, Asha’s got a boy over for 6 days. A guy she met in Japan on Tinder while she was there visiting Josh.

(quick note here, if you’re confused by the names & relationships here. Asha is my wife. Josh is her boyfriend. Ayesha is my girlfriend.)

And it took me all of 5 hours since she left before I found myself dreamily thinking of fucking.

It’s amazingly sudden, the way it hits. One moment you’re working or watching a video or whatever. Then you remember the night before, or you see a pair of cuties on the bus… and bam, you’re uncomfortably horny.

It didn’t use to happen like this. Not this bad at least. I think the fact that I know that sex is my only way to get release amplifies it.

Hell, I’m even going on dates with girls I probably wouldn’t give the time of day to under different circumstances. For example, I’ve got a date tomorrow night with a conversational starfish (you know when you bring a girl home and she just kinda lays there in bed instead of really participating in the sex? I don’t, of course, because I’m so damn good in bed that every girl just can’t stop themselves from pushing back… but that’s called starfishing. So this girl does that via the conversation. She just kinda…. keep it boring. No matter how playful or deep I try to get).

All in all, it’s not that bad. Much easier than I expected it to be.

Kush, who’s my partner in this 90 day NoFap experiment, has been going strong. His girl is taking care of him, though they can’t see each other as often as they’d like. He almost slipped a couple days ago, but held back. Good job, man.

He’s considering a life of NoFap.

I, personally, wouldn’t take it that far. I don’t know whether I miss masturbating or not. I can really enjoy a good session with some quality porn and time on my hands. But it’s also quite time consuming and can become addictive really damn fast.

I’m kinda considering doing NoFap the same way I do fasting. You know, taking a week or three off a few times a year, and not letting myself binge and just watch porn and cum for a whole wasted day.

Oh, one last thing: I am way the fuck more clever. Like, I’m better at flirting, I’m making funnier jokes.

I don’t know if this is because I’ve been studying my text game under Sensei Asha, or because I’ve just in a good flow the last couple days, or because or NoFap, or a combination of these. But it’s a thing.

I wonder if it’ll persist as I NoFap. If it might drop off when I have access to my hand again.

I suppose we’ll have to wait and see.

Original Experiment Document Here: NoFap Experiment II – 90 Days, Eddy & Kush

——

Strangely enough, my libido hasn’t been active. It hasn’t been gone at all, but it seems kinda… dormant.

Perhaps it’s because I haven’t had any real opportunities (been around girls I’m legitimately not interested in, no 3G for online dating, and have been slated to leave in a few days).

Nothing really to report, except that things are quiet.

 

Original Experiment Document Here: NoFap Experiment II – 90 Days, Eddy & Kush

——

Best day I’ve had in weeks. Coincidence? Too many variables to know.

Need to…

  • Come up with things to try when feeling very horny, and test those out.
    • Tinder
    • Approaching girls
    • Pitching clients
    • Learning about stuff like Blockchain and Ethereum
    • Meditation
    • Javascript
    • Exercise
    • Ideal-self-actualization philosophy (reading & taking notes)
    • Podcasts

Dick felt extremely sensitive last night and in the morning.

I sexted with Asha & Ayesha. Couldn’t even caress dick during. Got extremely horny.

After sexting, however, the extreme horniness abated rather quickly. Though never was I completely not horny. I’ve been horny most of the day.

Even showering or lying in bed felt pleasurable. Often uncomfortably so.

Noticed: I seem to be more patient about conversations or sticking to work, because escape to masturbating isn’t an option.

Theory: Abstinence isn’t the ideal solution to porn and masturbation. After this, I should masturbate. But, like I eat a delicious desert; gourmet, take time, not too often.

I’m MUCH more flirtatious and also… aware of how to flirt. I’m a much better flirter. Better than I can remember being in a very long time.

So, today my old friend Kush made me a challenge.

Don’t masturbate for 90 days.

He says it’ll make you feel better, make you more attractive, make you work harder….

I’ve got my doubts.

But, even though he couldn’t convince me that he was right…. I wasn’t convinced that he was wrong either.

Obviously, science needs to get brought into this.

I told him I’d do it.

And he told me he’d join me. We’d do it together, a sacred (& financial) bond keeping us on track and dedicated to see this through for science (though hopes of pussy and confidence aren’t without their presence).

Today is September 1, 2016. We began this experiment at approximately 01:30.

Experiment Rules:

  • No looking at attractive girls’ pictures/vids/audios/etc/ for the purpose of pleasure if we do not know the girl.
    • Pictures & vids & audios of lovers, girls we’re dating or wooing, etc. are okay (so long as you’re not just going through your whole archive of them. That’s pretty much porn).
    • Looking at attractive girls themselves is allowed. Hell, probably encouraged.
  • No masturbation whatsoever.
  • If either participant fails, they owe the other $50. If both fail, they literally have to drop $50 on the street and refuse to take it back.

Participants:

Kaushik (Kush) Satish

  • 21 year old cis man
  • Has girlfriend w/ active sex life
  • High sex drive
  • Has done NoFap before for 60 days

Eddy Azar

  • 22 year old cis man
  • Currently in Canada, dating but unsuccessful
  • Flying to Singapore on Sep 7, 2016
  • Has wife (Asha) with amazing intensity but unknown frequency sex life in Singapore
  • Has girlfriend (Ayesha) with high intensity but infrequent sex life in Singapore
  • Has done NoCum before (fapping allowed). Aimed for 30 days, lasted 27

Hypothesis:

Kush

  • Increased energy
  • Increased strength
  • Increased sex drive
  • Increased social skills
  • Maybe increased productivity
  • Better sex
  • More attractive to people. Being looked at more. Girls more receptive.
  • Look better to yourself
  • Cum faster
  • Hornier

Eddy

  • Horniness possibly uber persistent to point of distraction.
  • Sex drive will skyrocket. Will be more driven to have sex in every medium.
  • Especially with girls I already have a relationship with
  • I will begin to have wet dreams (which may be doubly strange as I’m on the road and spending a lot of nights in my hammock or friend’s couches/guest-rooms).

Process:

To Do:

  • Unfollow all attractive girls I follow on Instagram
  • Save the really good ones to catch up on when I’m back
  • Sign an agreement to the $50 stakes with Kush (use Hello Sign)
  • Map out & publish Scientific Process document (this)

Daily Report:

Every day, write down report of how day goes. Mini-experiments, experiences, etc.

I will tweet thoughts during the day, and update this document when needed.

[Post experiment note: didn’t keep up daily review. Mostly because there wasn’t much worth noting most of the time]

Let it Begin :)

Results:

After 95 days of NoFap, here’s my results

Tinder Data

My wife is one of the best pickup artists I know.

Or at least she is when she’s wearing my face.

Three months ago, Asha & I had decided to open up our relationship. To have sex with other people.

We’d both dived into Tinder, and I watched her match and get hit on by just about every guy (and more than a few girls) she swiped. Meanwhile, I hardly ever got a match, had only managed to get two dates, and had gotten stood up on each one.

Confidence destroyed.

We tried to fix it. I lowered my standards to the point where I was sometimes swiping right on everything. Matches were still few, and now they were with people I’d never actually enjoy going out with.

We asked /r/AskTrollX, a community of cool girls, why I wasn’t getting matches. There was some good advice, but most of it was in the vein of “I’m sorry I can’t think of any solid advice or explanation for why he isn’t getting any matches, but your husband is suuuuuuuuper hot. Like wow.”

Helped heal my confidence… but my matches remained flat.

When I did manage to get a match, the chit chat wound up dead every single time. I tried talking philosophy, making clever jokes, asking about their life. Shit did not work.

In essence, my dating life looked a lot like this:

Lama No

Then, one afternoon while I was wallowing deep in the pit of despair, knowing that the dating game is simply an unfair hell for men…. My wife grabbed my phone and set up two dates for me. In half an hour.

That was the turning point.

If she can get girls to agree to go out with me when they think she’s me and the only thing she’s doing differently is how she’s writing… the problem isn’t me. It’s my game.

So, to improve my attractiveness to women…I created a spreadsheet.

That was 16 days and 1079 swipes ago.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

——————–

So, I’ve swiped right on 1079 girls and counting since January 30th. 32 of those have been superlikes.

First off, here’s my profile: http://imgur.com/a/wrSrjTinderProfileFront

Got any criticism, compliments, thoughts? Fire away.

Yes, I know that mentioning that I’m in an open relationship in a country as conservative as Singapore is not helping. But that’s just honesty.

Lesson 1: For guys, Tinder is a number’s game.

Tinder

I’m in Singapore, which isn’t the most sexually liberated place in the world (gay sex is still illegal here), so I’m kinda hoping my numbers are lower than they would be in, say, San Francisco.

That said, my match ratio is painfully low: 7.05% of the people I swipe right on will swipe right on me.

Superlikes help, making you 175% more likely to match with the girl. Still, that’s only a 12.5% match rate.

To put that in perspective: I totalled 74 matches after over 1000 swipes.

Ouch.

Things get a little bit more grim when you learn that 19.4% of girls will unmatch you at some point. Some will do it when you send the first message, others (a painfully high amount) will wait until you’ve had a long conversation and even scheduled a date.

So that’s a bit depressing… but what about when you and the girl hit it off?

Lesson 2: Talking about her is the best way to get her attention.

I tested out 8 different types of opening lines:

  • About Pics. I comment on something about her pictures.
    • Examples: Kelly, Farah, Christin
  • Interesting Question. I ask her some random interesting question.
    • Examples: Victoria, Malavika, Isabel
  • Name Joke. I make a joke about her name.
    • Examples: Shikin, Sierra, Pham
  • Name! I literally just say her name plus an exclamation mark and maybe a smily face.
    • Examples: Preetha, Ren, Syairah
  • About Bio. I comment on something about her bio.
    • Examples: Alice, Celine, Jingle
  • Hey. I literally just say hey. Exclamation marks and smily faces optional.
    • Examples: Madeleine, Diana, Mella
  • GIF. I send a gif.
    • Examples: Hop, Tiara, Alne
  • She messaged me.
    • Examples: Michaela, Ayesha, Paula

TinderOpenersGraph

The best way to get a response, hands down, is to talk about her pictures (91.67% response rate) or her bio (87.5% response rate).

It gets a bit weird down the line between these two, though.

While talking about her bio makes you two a bit more likely to have a long conversation, talking about her pictures makes you twice as likely (25%) to get her number.

You can see all the data on each opener here:

TinderOpenData

Lesson 3: Not many girls will send the first message. But those that do are gold.

About 12.5% of girls will open the conversation first.

If you do this, I like you. May all your Tinders be excellent conversationalists who cook you delicious food and are godly in bed.

Girls who message you first are 145% more likely than average to have a long conversation with you, 244% more likely to give you their number, and 271% more likely to plan a date with you.

These girls are awesome.

Lesson 4: Once you get her off Tinder, you win.

I haven’t been doing this long enough to go on all the dates I’ve planned (and some are in other countries), but I’ve learned that a girl who gives you her personal information & talks with you off of Tinder (even if it’s an Instagram chat) is almost guaranteed to go on a date with you.

Once you match with a girl, you have a 15.63% chance to get her contact info.

0% of women will ask for your number (my wife is literally the only girl I have ever seen ask first). So it’s up to you.

I’ve gotten the contact info of 10 girls. These have been phone numbers, Instagram names, Telegrams, & Lines. 9 of these girls have planned dates with me.

This is just the beginning.

Did you notice that my numbers were ever so slightly off during this post. The values in the pictures didn’t exactly match the values in the writing.

That’s because I’m still swiping. Still gathering data.

Over the next 12 months or so, I am going to completely growth hack Tinder. From profile pictures and descriptions to different countries to men vs. women.

I’ll be posting updates with interesting new learnings here on this forum.

And it’s not just me anymore. I’ve recruited some awesome folks to help me along with this:

– Toby – CEO at OneBit & my boss

– Nat Eliason – Content Sumo at SumoMe

– Asha – My wife

Want to be a part of it? You’ll get access to exclusive data (actual lines that repeatedly work, a look at individual examples, live updates, etc.), mentioned in update posts (especially when you’ve learned something new and cool we can share), and a chance to hop on skype with me and talk about growth hacking.

Just follow the guide here, and I’ll invite you to our private channel.

Oh, and happy Valentine’s Day.

– Eddy, Growth Hacker & Founder of RadNomad

Walking Meditation

This is part of The Daily Meditation Experiment, where I am practicing one school of meditation per week (well, it’s supposed to be a week. I hasn’t been, really) to understand the overall structure & effects of each.

Meditation Method: Walking Meditation

This is really a simple meditation style. I go for a walk. Done. I can listen to music, think my thoughts, practice parkour, take pictures, whatever.

Adherence: 41%

I have practiced this meditation for 75 days (a week per meditation style, ha!).

As usual, I am terrible at practicing my meditation.

I have learned that I am MUCH more likely to practice it if I wake up and begin my day with my morning ritual (which has me doing yoga outside as one of the first things, then meditating).

I’ll try to improve upon this for my next meditation, and have a chosen an easier style to help achieve this.

Thoughts

The first time I tried walking meditation, it was amazing. I walked around the local area of Ubud’s alley roads. I saw cool construction sites, petted dogs, discovered beautiful hidden gardens, and even ran across a white woman who had evidently married a Balinese man and was walking down the street wearing home-cloths and yelling in Bahasa Indonesia.

I recorded my thoughts during the meditation, and remarked that it’s like a ticket to explore. I’ve uploaded that recording here:

But then I went back to Asha’s parent’s place in Singapore. It’s just a series of huge cement apartment buildings in the boondocks of Singapore.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful and fascinating place. Singapore’s government takes quite excellent care of it’s people, and this place is full of well-designed paths, nice looking parks, lots of trees, and the beautifully designed front yards of the tenants. And a lot of stray cats. I even saw a group of workers installing some solar panels on the roofs. (more…)

This is part of The Daily Meditation Experiment, where I am practicing one school of meditation per week (well, it’s supposed to be a week. I hasn’t been, really.) to understand the overall structure & effects of each.

Meditation Method: I Am Meditation

This is a quite simple meditation type. The goal is to obtain a feeling of who you are.

How it’s done:

  1. Sit down with your eyes closed, and ask yourself “What am I?”.
  2. If the answer comes to you in the form of a thought, discard it, and ask the question again. Focus instead on the subjective feeling of “I”.
  3. Whenever thoughts/emotions arise that distract you from the question, ask yourself “To whom does this arise?”. The answer will be “Me”. To which you ask “Who am I?”, thereby bringing yourself back into the meditation.

I did this meditation 9 times over the course of 19 days.

Adherence: 47%

I practiced I Am meditation from September 15 to October 3rd (considerably more than a week) to August 2nd. In those 19 days, I achieved a full meditated session for 9 days.

My pathetic adherence record combined with the minimal value I found in this meditation very nearly stopped me from publishing this post. However this experiment is about successes as much as it is about failures, so here it is, published so you can know where the value is and how damn difficult it is to ahere to.

Thoughts

This seems like a strange middleman-esque meditation without much value to it.

While I did, at times, get some clarity and a powerful feeling of who I am, it was not something I am unable to get elsewhere.

(more…)

This is part of The Daily Meditation Experiment, where I am practicing one school of meditation per week(ish) to understand the overall structure & effects of each.

Meditation Method: The Flame & The Void (Mushin Meditation)

The nerdiest of all meditation styles I’m trying in this experiment, The Flame & The Void comes from The Wheel of Time fantasy novel series by Robert Jordan. It is very alike to Mushin Meditation practiced by martial artists (a state of flow where the body moves on instinct and training instead of thought and planning), and to Mindfulness Meditatation.

Characters who use The Flame & The Void in the books experience a complete focus on the present moment & what they are doing in it, while being completely detached from anything else (including physical pain, fear, etc). One mark of this is to be able to be aware of physical pain and yet detached from it as if it were “happening to someone else”.

“I imagine a flame, and then I push everything into it. Hate, fear, nervousness. Everything. When they’re all consumed, there’s an emptiness, a void, inside my head. I am in the middle of it, but I’m a part of whatever I am concentrating on, too.” – Rand Al’Thor, The Dragon Reborn

How it’s done:

  1. Imagine a flame.
  2. Feed every thought, emotion, & feeling that comes to you into this flame.
    1. It may help to take a visual representation of the thing and feed that into the flame.
  3. When everything is gone, let the flame go and surround yourself in the Void of emotion and thought that is left.
    • Go back to step 2 if the void disappears.
  4. Take the actions you need/want to take, unaffected by thoughts or emotions.

I practiced The Flame & The Void in many different scenarios, some extremely uncomfortable or even painful:

With my hand in ice-cold water, on a bumpy and uncomfortable bus, in bed going to sleep. I would also do miniature meditations when I needed to deal with something like emotional turmoil, boredom, or getting my eyebrows plucked (I’ve got a unibrow by default. Gotta keep that thing tamed).

Ice water was the most painful, and therefore most indicative of success in trying to distance myself from physical pain. I was able to hold my hand in ice water for 3 full minutes, the maximum I’m sure I can go without causing myself harm (chosen by following in the footsteps of Mythbusters in their Pain Tolerance experiment).

Most people can’t do this, and I know I would have given up in the first minute if not for this meditation.

Throughout the three minutes, I had a few solid moments where I was completely successful in not caring about the pain, and a few where it hurt intensely and the only way I was able to keep my hand in the water was to just continually feed that pain into the flame as fast as it was hitting me.

Adherence: 69%

(more…)