So that was an interesting turn of events. This morning I was feeling a bit worn out because it’s been an intensely productive week. After all that hard work, doing it again one last day before the weekend was a daunting prospect.

So, not desiring to create something and not willing to fully give in and waste my day, I just kind of idled while I battled between the desire to work and the desire to take the day off.

Horniness took the opportunity and pounce on me, like a tiger stalking a celibate gazelle. I didn’t see it coming until it had me in it’s teeth.

Must be because I used to masturbate to kill time when I had nothing else to do (side note: damn I’m glad I’m getting rid of that habit, it’s a total productivity killer).

So I eventually broke down and opened up my porn folder. I refused to masturbate, but I needed to see something sexy.

Now here’s where the weird part comes in. After browsing through many sexy pictures, I opened up a video. The woman couldn’t act, had fake tits, and was just fake in general. Ugh, deleted.

Another one, same problem. Bad plot, no entertainment, and fake looking people. Deleted.

A third time and that was enough. I wasn’t horny any more and now wanted to do something productive. I mass deleted all the bad porn videos (keeping x-art videos though, they are artistic and enjoyable), and hopped on my bike to head to starbucks to work.

Maybe it was just crappy porn, but I think I would have accepted it and gotten off, in a time before I started this experiment.

Looking deeper, the prospect of masturbation itself is just an unpleasant idea. Seems like a shitty thing to do with no real benefits. I don’t want to kind of satisfy my desired just to push them out of the way. I’d rather use them as fuel to get what I truly desire.

It looks like this experiment is really changing my mindset. Porn is less pleasing, masturbation is unattractive, and sex is the only thing I desire sexually.

Interesting.