It’s been 5 days since I last touched my penis or watched porn. Strangely enough, the urge is almost non-existent. I’m not horny at all, nor do I want to watch porn just ‘cause.
I am getting occasionally horny, when I read a sexy scene in Atlas Shrugged or see some sexy album art. Nothing I can’t brush off. But I do notice that it’s increasing.
I dig it. I’m not distracted by a need for sex, nor by a need to masturbate.
Odds are (as you learned in yesterday’s post), I won’t be having sex with Melanie any time soon. Or maybe I will. Honestly, I’ve got no idea xP.
This means that, combined with my lack of skill in getting women and my lack of desire to improve that skill until after I’ve gotten the ability to make about $1000/month entrepreneurially, my month of no masturbation may become a month of celibacy. Yippee.
I’ve noticed that I am more willing to just do it, and my creative has definitely improved. I enjoy writing again, and it seems to flow smoothly. Even copywriting, which I’m nervous about and still learning, is easier and smoother than before.
So creativity has gone up.
Since I stopped masturbating, I’ve gotten out of a non-productivity slump. And, like I said before, my audacity has gone up too. I can just do it, even when I’m scared or feeling lazy.
I’m also thinking a lot about life philosophies, which I think is a big part of this change.
So, productivity has gone up.
Fight vs. Forget
Like I said, I occasionally feel horny, but it’s not a huge desire. I do have some desires when I really wanna fuck or make love or just be in love, but it’s more relaxed than before, and a LOT cleaner. Before it was like a physical need to be dealt with. Now it’s the exciting and anticipatory feeling of how much I’ll enjoy it in the future.
More sexual or less sexual
Neither. My sexuality hasn’t yet changed, and is pretty muted at the moment. That’s mostly because I’m not focused on love at the moment, but on learning.
Onwards I go .