Nocturnal Flow

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It’s strange that inspiration comes to me ever so late.

Now it’s 420. I have done something that, so far in this experiment, I have been unable to do. I have come home, gone to sleep, and woken back up to write.

It was strange. I woke up knowing that I must write. Even though I had set an alarm over 3 hours earlier for a short 25 minute nap, I still did not wake up for three hours….yet I woke up without a doubt in my mind that now I must write.

And while getting up did take some effort, it was driven by an unquestioned drive. I gotta write. I wasn’t a question, a plea, a demand, or a surrender. It just was. I gotta write.

So I wound myself up with applying the concoction to my wounds, brushing my teeth, and listening to a short letter on Audio Smut. And here we are.

Again, the strangest, and sometimes surprisingly useful and creative, of moods overcomes me when I am at my computer in the early hours of the morning. When I can make it past two AM, something inside me falls into a flow state almost automatically.

The world is turned off, and all that is left is me, one soul, awake at this hour of slumber…creating.

None to disturb me.

Nothing to draw me away.

And, oddly and wonderously, no serious drive to look away.

This is part of the awesome spell that overcomes me: focus.

I hardly even want to grab a bottle of water right now, lest I lose my flow.

I felt that addiction-fueled urge to check Facebook, to check email, even though this hour has been predetermined and does not include those things. Usually, resistance is a battle. It is now too, but the outcome is clear almost from the beginning of the fight. I do not want to open facebook to see if any cute girls messaged me. I do not want to open email and read about what my businesses need from me.

I gotta write.

The other half of this magical spell is the passion and playfulness of my creativity in the early hours.

I love that compared to the day, the world is unchanging this moment.

At 520, everyone will still be asleep.

At 520, it will still be dark outside. Perhaps the first few lights of dawn hearalding the day to come.

At 520, I will be surrouneded by as many people as I am now. None. The music will be the same as it is now. Repetitive cloverfield. My writing will be done. My sleep will resume.

I would so love to be able to wake up at 4 am every day. To stay up for an hour or three, then to go back to sleep. It would require naps through the day. Naps which I will be happy to take. Then my waking hours can be shortened, and I can create this bubble. This spell.

I wonder how this spell would fare with consistency. Would it return night upon night? Would joining the flow be as simple as sitting down and beginning to tap the keys?

I do not know.

I would want a thing. A general purpose.

But I don’t think it can be a must.

Or, perhaps, not all of it.

It could be the time of my writing. I wake up at 4 and write my hour. Then I can go back to sleep. Or I can stay up and explore something else. But I have begun, and so the spell has had it’s chance to be cast.

From there, it is in fate’s hand.

 
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This is an excerpt from the Words Of Focus project.

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