There are two different kinds of failures. The first is that which most have, and it is known to hold people back from their goals. Whenever they try to succeed they first fail, and the pain they feel from this failure forces them to recoil back into the life they had at first.
The second is possessed by those who we idolize. The Tim Ferrisss, Ramit Sethis, Stepan Parunashvilis and, in progress, the Eddy Azars of this world who live the dreams of the common people. To them a failure is an attempt well made. Worth a hint of bragging and never an impact on the confidence. It is simply a building block in the temple of their inevitable and already achieved success.
In direct terms:
The Negative Failure: He who’s confidence is based on his successes and the thoughts of others. Success puts him on top of the world, failure spirals himself into a pit of self hate and shame.
The Positive Failure: He who’s confidence is based on the fact that he is himself. Successes are confidence boosters and are fun, failures and good short stories and no big deal.
The key difference between those who can failure those who cannot is the source of their confidence.
This is why Tim Ferriss was excited that he finally had visible abs. He lived his whole life pursuing a super-fit body, but simply couldn’t get abs until about 2 years ago. Did it bug him? Not even a bit. But was he pumped when he succeeded? Totally.
Failure was just a neutral thing to him. He simply didn’t get abs. The battle was not done, but he was not worried.
Success was totally kool, but only worth a few lines in a book. The rest was devoted on teaching others the fast track to his long haul success.
So what do we take away from this? Simple.
Remove the link between your confidence and your success/failure. Pursue a bunch of goals because they’d be cool to have, but have pumped confidence all the time, regardless of results.
When you fail, remember that you have just done something to be proud of.
When you succeed, be confident and remember that your success was always inevitable.