To myself at least.
Since my first ever yearly goal review last June, one of my goals in the category of Congruence With My Deepest Self is honesty. Not necessarily with the world, thought usually I would like that as well. With myself.
Remember the last time you were procrastinating? Odds are, you were lying to yourself too. You were saying that you needed a break (then take a nap), that you had plenty of time (then shorten the deadline), or that everything would work out well (not as well as if you weren’t stagnating).
Remember the last time you didn’t approach that cute stranger to say hi? Then too. You were saying that you’re not interested right now (then you wouldn’t have even taken the time to want them), or that you’re happy with the person you’re with (so you can’t cultivate cute friends?), or that they’d never go for you (impossible to know unless you go say “hi”).
What if you’d just said “Yeah, I’m wasting time right now instead of doing what I want to do” or “I’m not saying hi to that cutie because I’m scared of rejection”. Maybe you would have kept stagnating & giving into fear…but you’d know it.
And the first step to fixing any problem is acknowledging that you’ve got it. There’s absolutely no benefit in lying to oneself to those who pursue self-improvement. The benefit to being truthful, however, is less time and energy creating ideas, debating with yourself, and suppressing thoughts. It’s being able to trust yourself that you won’t try to sabotage yourself (at least not without first letting you know). It’s being aware of the problems you’re dealing with and therefore much more able to fix them.
And it’s a peacefulness of mind that comes when you’re congruent with yourself. If you’ve felt that swelling in your chest, freshness of perspective, and light feeling of lightness and self-trust that comes with suddenly being lining up what you know deep down to be true and what you tell yourself in the moment to moment, you’ll know what a perfect state of mind this is.
So, every time I find myself lying to myself, I will stop and acknowledge the truth. I don’t have to do anything about it yet, just acknowledge it. And I’ll check in every day to remember what truths I acknowledged.
Question for you: have you tried this kinda thing before? What were the results?
Also, if you wanna join in this and trade daily truths with me, I’d love to have you as a partner. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.