I have decided to pursue the 4HB’s diet and workout because I want to look good. I want abs, I want lean muscles, I want a sexy body.
To please women.
And this is where i am conflicted. I do not want to base my self improvements on the need to gain approval from others. My money making goals are not based on this, and either are my traveling goals, but my physical and sexual goals are. I do not wish to look good for me. I strive to look good so that others may approve.
That’s fucked up. That is very fucked up.
And so the problem lies not in my pursuit of a powerful body and skilled seduction methods. The problem lies in the fact that I am afraid of the reprimand and negative judgement of others. Further; the problem lies in that I succumb to this fear!
THERE IT IS! The fatal flaw in myself: I succumb to the fear of being shunned.
Okay, good to know. Now we need a solution.
Once again, more self control is not the answer.
A reminder? A use of the bracelet (a behaviour changing method I will post about later)?
My new wall paper:
“Surrender not to the fear of being shunned! Care not of the judgement of anyone but yourself! Stand tall and reflect outwardly what you are inwardly, and you will enjoy and love the moments of your life.” in Helvetica
My new use of the bracelet: Whenever I notice that I am succumbing to the fear of being outcast or shunned, I must go back and restart the situation and remove the actions I have made based on fear.
How? Simply by saying or doing what I was going to before my fear of fear stopped me.
And if I don’t, the bracelet switches arms.
Okay, I’ve solved the problem itself. Now is time to resolve the symptom.
I no longer feel a reason to work out. I feel the need to strap on some vibrams, climb the world, chase my dreams on foot, in mind, and in body, and enjoy the fire and passion that is life.
But I see no reason why this should ever be substuted by working out.
I shall eat what I wish, exercise when I wish, enjoy life, and say fit because I use my body.
So ends my experiments with the 4HB for now.